Do you Should All Over Yourself? Do you think you “should” do things and either dread them or feel drained afterwards? Do you feel chained down to doing things that you don’t want to do but feel you have to?
Does this sound like you? I should go to that party, I should call so and so back, I should be skinnier, I should have a boyfriend/girlfriend, I should be happy, I should be calm, I should grow my hair, everyone should like me, I should be more social, I should be clear about my future, I should put other people’s needs before my own, I should never make a mistake….
“Should’s” are our unconscious belief systems at play. They often conflict with our real self and override what we really want to do. They can be passed down to us from our families, friends, teachers, culture, media, government, authorities and the meanings we make ourselves.
Busting The Shoulds – Questions to ask yourself…
1. First things first, become aware of your should list. Make a list of 5 ways you “should” all over yourself. What do you tell yourself you “should” do or be doing?
2.Then for each “should” ask yourself, where or who did I learn this from?
3. What do I really want to do?
4. DO IT – meaning what you really want to do.
***If you feel stuck and guilt ridden while doing what you really want to do, challenge yourself to do it anyway. Busting our “shoulds” often has some feelings of uncomfortableness that come along with it. Don’t be afraid to say “no” to the should even if it feels wrong at first. Getting to know you is about stepping out of your comfort zone and trying new ways of being. This helps you get to know a You that makes sense to you.
In a nutshell, kick your “should” to the curb and say, “YES” to YOU!
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