The attractive and confident woman who all the men pine after, the person who succeeds time and time again, the inspiring public speaker, the fabulous “not so starving” painter, the talented family member, the courageous friend who left her job and started a hugely successful business, your creative competitor that has developed a sought-after brand.
Ahhhhhh good ole’ envy. Envy keeps us on our toes. Envy alerts us to what we do not believe of ourselves. Envy reminds of us what we are capable of.
The Law of Light and Refection states that what we see in another is merely a reflection of ourselves. If we feel an emotional charge towards a quality we see in another, it is a sure sign we are not seeing it in ourselves(be it desirable or undesirable). The emotionally charged feeling serves to bring our attention to heal, own and embrace whatever quality we are rejecting.
When this idea was first brought to my attention, I had been struggling with a family member for much of my life. I felt she had it all together, she was smarter than me, a better business person than me, prettier than me, more successful than me and more valuable than me.
Behind her back, I put her down to my friends and continuously tried to find everything wrong with her, in hopes to make myself feel better. I never did feel better. When I saw her, I would cower, I would feel inferior and awful about myself. I believed she had qualities I did not.
What these envious feelings were actually telling me is that I did have all that I was seeing in her. The only problem … I wasn’t seeing these very qualities in myself.
With that said, when we are envious of another, the feeling is trying to tell us something. When envy is felt, it is an opportunity for us to look at what we are not owning in ourselves or creating in our lives. If you can see something in someone else (as people are our mirrors), then it has to be within you.
As I examined what I envied in her, I began to see and embrace these qualities in myself. I started to find evidence as to where these qualities existed in me. Shortly after, I started my own business, I did a modeling shoot, I attracted many new clients and saw the value in what I had to offer and my worth as a business person (hence my own successful business years later). If I hadn’t of embraced these qualities in myself, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I already was successful, business-minded, attractive, valuable and smart – I just needed to believe it!
Is there anyone in your life that brings out your envious feelings? If so, what about them are you envious of?
Choose one quality you are envious of? (successful, smart, pretty, inspiring, leader)
Find an example in your life where you have displayed this quality.
What is something tangible you can do this week to step into this quality?
Repeat I am ______________________ at least 10 times a day. (write it on post it notes, put it in your pop up calendar, tasks, reminders… anywhere you will see it over and over again)
Then OWN it baby, OWN it. And REMEMBER – what you see in another is a reflection of you! The only thing you need to do is BELIEVE IT and STEP INTO IT!
In the spirit of hearing and healing envy,
Jenn xxoo
Care to comment? 2 Comments so far...
For a while, I envied one of my friend because he seemed to have more fun in his life, to be carefree and have a better social life than I did. He was living the party social life I felt like I had missed out on when I was younger.
When he heard about this, he told me “My life is not that perfect. At least, you have a full-time job in your field with people you like, an apartment by yourself, no more student loan, etc.”
So instead of regretting the things I didn’t have, I started to look at what I am grateful to have and to look at my life positivively, to see the little “awesomes” in my life. It has helped me a lot.
Love it Julie! Thanks for sharing:) xxoo